Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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I love gambling, it's so easy!!

Manny

Claire: I assure you, you are fine.
Phil: That's very comforting coming from a marketing major at a party school.

Honey don't you think it's weird that one of your friends is an 80-year-old man?

Claire [to Luke]

Golf? Psh that sport is for old men and women who like other women.

Javier

Let's dim the lights, crank up Norah Jones and get this over with.

Phil

You can stop holding in your stomach now.

Doctor [to Phil]

Hey what do you say we cut our losses? Let's go out to a nice Chinese restaurant and have a traditional Jewish Christmas.

Jay

Claire: Oh thank God, here comes Phil and the butterball.
Manny: Hey, I have a name!!

That's how Craigslist works. Total strangers sell you things like signed vintage baseball cards that make your father-in-law respect you for an afternoon.

Phil

Cam: Why so much tape Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Cam: It's my Christmas sweater!
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.

Cam and Jay, kind of sounds like a bird.

Cam

Okay just because my uncle is clearly gay, doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on our coat rack than have to deal with knuckledraggers like you, today of all days...December 16th.

Alex
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 233 in total

Modern Family Season 3 Quotes

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]

Cam: You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you?
Mitchell: No I told you it was fine, I just didn't like you wearing a matching one.