You know what I might just go crazy tonight and hook up all over him.


Mitchell: I think I'm laying on a rock.
Cam: I'm laying next to mine.

There are coyotes out here, and meth addicts!


Look I know that you're concerned, but I'm designing tshirts now. They're gonna be huge. Also medium and small.


Are you doing sex?


Oh I'm sorry are my pinkies up? They do that when I get excited. Down girls.


I'm basically his beard...pre-beard...stubble.


Claire: You look adorable!
Alex: Adorable? I'm not a puppy.

Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.

Phil [to Alex]

Proms are lame, it's just an excuse for dressed up dorks to ride in limos and hump each other.


How cool would it be if you turned into Wonder Woman right now?

Mitchell [to Cam]

It's better to carry a tune than a grudge.


Modern Family Season 3 Quotes

Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]