Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Manny: I made a reference to The Wiggles and it went right over her head.
Jay: I don't know what that means.
Manny: It's an expression. It means she didn't get it.

I want them to share clothes, do each others hair and gossip about boys. Like i did with Mitchell.

Claire

Whoa, whoa, maybe it's all the creams, that just made sense, girlfriends.

Phil

Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.

There's enough not to like about death without adding dirt and worms.

Jay

Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.

Gloria

She makes me feel like a fifth grader again.

Manny

Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.

Relax, more than half the eleventh grade has been in that sweater.

Alex [to Haley]

What did Oprah do now

Mitchell [to Cam]

If you don't use them, then all our money just goes to charity.

Phil

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Cam
Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 279 in total

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire

Haley: Dad, that was a stop sign.
Phil: I'll stop twice on the way back.

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