Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Luke: Smell Heather for me.
Phil: I always do...not.

No way, she plays Lacrosse and plays the cello. Even my reputation can't take that dork hit.

Haley

Luke: One time, she gave me a Woody.
Claire: Sweet J...
Luke: She remembered he's my favorite character from Toy Story.

Mitchell: Did we come at a bad time?
Claire: Come back in five years and seven months when they're all gone!

Claire: Phil, the frying pan is on fire!
Phil: Son of Jor-El! Everybody stay calm!

Jay: Want some coffee?
Manny: Say yes. It's french press. I was doubtful too, but I honestly can't see myself going back to drip.

Cam: Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cam: You do it all the time and you know what I end up with? Wet Dreams. I heard it as soon as I said it; just leave it alone.

Years from now some of these kids will still be talking about the way I Sondheim-ized them.

Cam

Sweetie we did it! Our baby is average!

Claire
Displaying quotes 55 - 63 of 279 in total