Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

He'll be here all week folks. Literally, because you're not coming home with me.

Cameron

Mitchell: This morning, Cam, fully dressed....
Jay: Thank god it's one of those stories.

Alex: Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike to stand up for what he believed in.
Haley: That's because no one would eat with him in the cafeteria.

Phil: Hey momma bear, you okay?
Claire: Not with momma bear I'm not.

"My wife won't let me go to Vegas." Trust me that is not a phone call you want to make to a group of ex-college male cheerleaders. They will mock you with a hurtful rhythmic taunt.

Phil

I remember the speech that won me treasurer of my high school spanish club. "Mi nombre es filipe."

Phil

OK, every once in a while you say that thing about the twig, and I need you to know, that bothers me.

Mitchell

Cam: Thanks for staying home with me.
Mitchell: Well, you know, in sickness and in health, right?
Cam: You're still blinkin' sweetie.

They're monsters, Claire! Deceitful, manipulative monsters and they need to be broken.

Phil
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