Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

Haley: I'm kind hungry mom.
Phil: Oh my god she's back!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Don't stop believing. Get this party started."


Gloria: He thought we were gonna use it all the time, but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.
Jay: Champagne problems, right?

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

Do you think he had his butt done too? It looks fantastic.


Jay: This is embarrassing...
Gloria: For the both of us.

Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?

Manny: Hey luke, do you realize in two years we'll both be graduating?
Luke: Not now. I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
Manny: Well, I'll be graduating.

You know what's really sad? The end of Titantic.

Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 279 in total