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Modern-family

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

Do you think he had his butt done too? It looks fantastic.

Phil

Jay: This is embarrassing...
Gloria: For the both of us.

Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?

Manny: Hey luke, do you realize in two years we'll both be graduating?
Luke: Not now. I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
Manny: Well, I'll be graduating.

You know what's really sad? The end of Titantic.

Phil

He'll be here all week folks. Literally, because you're not coming home with me.

Cameron

Mitchell: This morning, Cam, fully dressed....
Jay: Thank god it's one of those stories.

Alex: Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike to stand up for what he believed in.
Haley: That's because no one would eat with him in the cafeteria.

Phil: Hey momma bear, you okay?
Claire: Not with momma bear I'm not.

"My wife won't let me go to Vegas." Trust me that is not a phone call you want to make to a group of ex-college male cheerleaders. They will mock you with a hurtful rhythmic taunt.

Phil

I remember the speech that won me treasurer of my high school spanish club. "Mi nombre es filipe."

Phil
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 279 in total

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Claire
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