Yeah, he gives me a hard time. But that's the deal with a father-in-law. The key is I never let him see just how much it devastates me.


She bit me! Ow! She did it again! It's like Twilight back here!


Pretty soon you get some hair on your chest, you start answering the phone, and people don't think you're ladies.

Jay [to Manny and Luke]

Cam: She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: You know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?

She suggested an Arabian Nights theme. Isn't it a little soon?


Or you could just be nice and pay it forward. They don't make movies out of bad ideas.


At this rate, I'm going to miss the first my wedding!


We'll be on her like white on rice... which might sound racist because we're white and she, presumably, like rice.


Luke: Here's something I didn't know about mannequins: They don't have a wiener.

Claire: Gus is a symbol.
Gloria: A sex symbol?

Jay: Flag on the play.
Manny: What does that mean?!?

Oh, the smiley face makes it okay! 'I waterboarded our toddler, LOL!'


Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.


You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.