Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

She makes me feel like a fifth grader again.

Manny

Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.

Relax, more than half the eleventh grade has been in that sweater.

Alex [to Haley]

What did Oprah do now

Mitchell [to Cam]

If you don't use them, then all our money just goes to charity.

Phil

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Cam

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.

Jay

Happy Valenbirthuhhhversary!

Phil
Displaying quotes 91 - 99 of 279 in total