The truth is, Luke, I am rich, but not with money. I got my abs. I got my hair.

Robbie

Mitchell: I guess you don't respect party themes.
Cam: You did NOT just say that.

I've got Gloria! I've got Gloria!

Phil

Robbie could charm your socks off, but I doubt he stopped there.

Dede

Now we know. You are romantic, and I'm smarter than you. And I bought you a motorcycle.

Gloria

I don't like to talk about money. But I have exactly ten million dollars.

Phil

Am I a bad enough parent to ignore that?

Claire

I haven't been single since I was nine.

Haley

I am the second wife Jay, why do you treat me like I'm the first?

Gloria

Five course dinner waiting for us at home and she's strapping on the feedbag at Ibiza.

Jay

I've usually good at catching things from women in bars.

Phil

You look hot enough to cook a pizza on... in.

Phil

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.

Jay

I'm gonna go get a beer, beer, beer before I punch you in the head, head, head.

Jay