Phil: Life is so unfair.
Jay: Damn right. I just waited in line an hour and a half around the block for a hoagie everybody's talkin' about, then my ex-wife drops dead, and I'm too sad to eat it. Eh, give it another hour.
Gloria: Oh. I'm sooo sorry for your loss, JAY.

Cam: You know, I don't know how we all feel about the afterlife, but I, myself, would like to imagine Dede surrounded by loved ones hearing...
Halloween Doorbell: Welcome to Hell! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Phil: I'll disconnect that doorbell.

It just feels inappropriate being dressed like this. I should be in something dark with a capped sleeve.


Phil: On the trip's final morning, Dede was found in her room. She had apparently passed peacefully in her sleep, as a smile graced her face and her hands clutched ten pages of suggestions for the hotel staff.
Claire: That is so mom.
Mitch: Easy.

  • Permalink: Easy.
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I am totally confused about what we're supposed to do.


Mitchell! Just because mom is dead doesn't mean she was a saint!


I know this is going to sound crazy, but I have always worried that when DeDe died she was going to come back and haunt me. Maybe it's because she whispered it to me at my wedding.


What's your game, old man?


Arvin: So, this is the doll you slept with.
Dylan: Hey, you're pretty handsome yourself.

Haley: Mom!
Claire: What? I do this every day at 3.

Phil: She's ghosting you?
Dylan: For an older dude, you always kept up with the lingo. Phil: Word.

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It was a pretty simple case because as I said, everyone has something to hide. Everyone. ... Everyone.


Modern Family Season 10 Quotes

Can you scratch my nose? I feel like you're closer.


Amazing news. The Grand Marshall in today's parade just got #MeToo'd, and they need me to fill in.