Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

I am brave. Roller coasters? Love 'em. Scary movies? I've seen Ghostbusters,like, seven times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything...Except clowns. Never shared that with the fam, so...shh. Do have an image to maintain.I am not really sure where the fear comes from. My mother says it's because when I was a kid, I found a dead clown in the woods, but who knows?

Phil

Put the 'he' in 'hero,' son.

Phil

The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's. Put on the first thing I grabbed. It was like a crotch tourniquet.

Jay

Claire's a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing, like when it comes to picking a husband.

Phil

What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.

Phil

I get it, you're terrfied of small talk and birds, you're just lucky that pigeon didn't want to chat you up about the weather.

Cameron

My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.

Luke

Calm down, you know I grew up around many animals. One time a rooster attacked me and my mom rung its neck and we had it for dinner.

Cameron

Claire: Quick, quick tell me something to say that will freak him out.
Haley: Tell him I'm pregnant!

I brought my own snacks, not because I'm cheap — it's a matter of principle. Plus I get a little rush from the danger. Be cool, be cool, be cool! Just look straight ahead... I've never felt more alive. WoOo!

Phil

Hey Mom, I think my diet's working! My underwear won't stay up!

Manny

The question is, why isn't all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice living!

Gloria
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