Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

He says the only tool you need is a sense of humor.

Luke [about Phil]

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

Mitchell: You know I'm surprised this particular foursome doesn't hang out more, considering...
Alex: We're the cultured ones in this family?

I used to make stuff for Claire all the time. I think my artistry was what locked her down.

Phil

You know what a lot of girls don't do? Guys who take ceramics.

Jay

Unlike you, I don't need a reason to watch a bunch of guys run around in shorts.

Mitchell [to Jay]

I had a choice to make. Be the better dancer or the bigger man. So I stepped off the dance floor and made the obvious call. You wanna win over a crowd? Invite a lonely mom to dance. She never saw it coming and neither did he.

Cam

They say the greats never let anything affect their performance. Well maybe the greats never had a daughter who checked out during the third of five planned real time wardrobe changes. But I'm not gonna lie, it knocked me off my game.

Phil

Trust me, when I get done talking to her not only will she have confessed to the crime, I might even sell her a closet.

Jay

You know what I say, I might be coach but I like to travel first class!

Cam

Now there are pushy obnoxious moms, who try and get involved, nudge them towards one another...we mean well.

Claire

Ew it's so sad when parents try. My mom double pierced one of her ears and I'm like "Hello! You're 50."

Alex
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 1213 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.

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