Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

This whole persnickety thing is not gonna fly in the world. Never hand people another reason to make fun of you.

Jay

Phil: You know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish special moments in your present?
Claire: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.

I'm not spending any more time under fluorescent lighting than I have to.

Haley

Mitchell: Why don't we put Lily in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight?
Cam: She'll see right through that.
Mitchell: No you're thinking of Haley's shirts.

Calm down Claire, your voice is getting to that pitch that disturbs out cat.

Cam

Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.

Phil

That's a library? I thought it was a church for a religion that didn't allow makeup.

Haley

Are you saying what I think you're saying? I'm Crocodile Dunphy?!

Phil

Mitchell: I'm so nervous. Are we gonna say Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit? What do we say to Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit?
Cam: Oh my God, it's so big.
Mitchell: That's a bit direct but you know he might be flattered- oh you're talking about the boat.

Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Mitchell: What's happening?
Cam: I don't know Google him.
Mitchell: I didn't spring for an international data plan.

Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.

Gloria
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 1251 in total
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