We have been renting the upstairs unit to some frat boys from Cam's old college. They're here for some big game and to try to get on the Price is Right. Unfortunately for me it's brought out Cam's bromosexual side.

Mitchell

Phil: It's time, somebody warm some towels!
Claire: Every time I crack an egg, really?

Okay, woah, this is exactly how it started out when I found out my father wasn't really in space.

Dylan

Mitchell: That was a take-out menu.
Earl: I don't want that man to know where I eat.

You're not working for the rolo-dex stealing Earl Chambers!

Jay

Lily: Where's the little leprechaun?
Cam: I think he's still getting dressed.

It's like being on a submarine, right?

Phil

We call ourselves the artful lodgers.

Cam

What is with you Americans and the foot?

Gloria

As an actual glasses wearer, I find it offensive.

Alex

All I wanted was to bribe my way into that school by making cubbies that stuff didn't fall out of.

Jay

We're like magnets, that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.

Dylan

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Cam [giving Lily dating advice]: Definitely compliment his outfit, laugh at his jokes...
Lily: What if they aren't funny?
Cam: Oh honey, the cute ones rarely are. God doesn't give with both hands.