Phil: Then today it's, "everything I can do you can do better."
Luke: No, I can't.
Phil: Yes, you can.

That is literally the nicest gesture I have ever witnessed. And I'm from Canada.

Kaplan

Wait, does that mean you also didn't like my bagpiping? Is that why we have Luke?

Phil

Luke: What are you constantly looking at on your computer?
Alex: Is that a question you really want people asking around here?

She may not have gotten our talent, but she didn't get our self-consciousness either.

Cam

Manny: Hey, that's my bike!
Luke: We're all making sacrifices. I'm wearing a monokini.

If you can't beat em, drone em!

Phil

Manny: And just like that, it disappears.
Luke: In his defense, the water is really cold.

The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.

Jay

Wait, I just thought of something! I’m going to be the first woman in my family not to get pregnant and drop out of college.

Alex

Let's review. She's been moody, eating weird food, getting nauseous. She left in the middle of the night for a wedding chapel in Vegas with her secret love, and most suspicious of all, she bought a book!

Claire

Haley got married? She is in so much trouble!

Luke

Modern Family Quotes

You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.

Phil

I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?

Phil