Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Jerry: Where did she come from?
Mitchell: Because she doesn't look like us? That’s offensive.

You guys exhaust me.

Lily

Alex: So what're you gonna do in Utah.
Andy: Well, me and my girlfriend haven’t seen each other in a while so we're gonna be like a couple bunny rabbits…
Alex: Wow.
Andy: Hopping all over town.

Phil: Those drops are really hanging on. I’m like Han Solo when he came out of the carbonite. Nothing?
Alex: I get it. Star Trek.
Phil: You’re breaking my heart.

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

Mitchell: Hey, Best Man.
Claire: Hello, blushing bride.
Mitchell: I feel like I should hate that more.

Oh calm down. This can’t be the first time you've woken up with other men in your bedroom.

Pepper

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Claire

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 1213 in total