Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

I know I know, you hear football coach and you expect to see somebody who screams John Wayne. Meanwhile the only time I’ve screamed the Duke is when we’ve argued over who’s the cutest on Downton Abbey.

Cam

Jay: So you don't think I look like Ben Franklin?
Gloria: Oh yes! That's who it is! The man from the hundred dollar bill. My favorite!

It's obvious mom, you use Halloween as a way to show people you have edge. It's like accountants who buy are Harley.

Alex

Sexy people go crazy too you know. Read a people magazine.

Haley

C'mon Jay this is my farewell tour Trick-or-Treating in the neighborhood, I have to go out strong.

Manny

Claire: Welcome to the insane asylum of from hell!
Phil: That's what it feels like.

People say clothes make the man but that makes no sense. What makes the man is a nice head of hair. Dammit it's like a phantom limb.

Jay

Claire: You gonna put some blood on that? Maybe dangle an eyeball?
Phil: Who hurt you? I'm kidding, I know it's Jay and Dede.

You do this every time. You go as a princess, I have to go as some freak. You're a beauty, I'm the beast. You're Beyonce, I'm...that guy.

Jay [to Gloria]

Cam: It's a bird! It's a plane!
Mitchell: It's super out of breath.
Cam: Happy Halloween to you too.

I'm kind of in a delicate spot stuck between my wife and the guy next door, but I'm pretty sure I can satisfy them both simultaneously.

Phil
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1274 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke