Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Quotes
Gather round like you're hugging me, but don't touch me!
Phil
She can't grow up with one huggy, happy cuddly dad and one frowny, lesson-teachy dad because... guess which one she's gonna ask to walk her down the aisle
Mitchell
I'm like a mother bear. When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to her.
Cameron
This stuff's really hitting me. My insides feel like velvet.
Phil
If I never wake up, I'd hate for the last thing you ever said to me to be a lie.
Phil
When you walked through a spider web... when we were playing with a Ouija board and the wind blew a door shut...
Luke
I could be sitting grill-side watching a guy build an onion volcano. Instead, I got Rico Suave in my kitchen.
Jay
Mitchell: Still keeping traditions alive, huh?
Jay: Someone has to. I got two Colombians as home trying to turn Christmas into Cinco de Mayo.
Mitchell: You know that's Mexican right?
Jay: Ahh. Burrito, burr-righto.
Gloria: Every culture has their own traditions. For example, in our culture, the Baby Jesus is the one that brings the presents, not the Santa Claus.
Jay: That's doesn't make sense. How could a new born baby carry all those presents? They don't even know where their hands are.
Manny: At least a baby could fit through a chimney.
Jay: How could you sit on the Baby Jesus' lap? You'd squish him.
If this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a burgundy dinner jacket, I'm going to have a big problem.
Manny
If I was home right now, I'd be mixing up a bathtub full of eggnog and trying to squeeze a greased hog into a Santa hat. You don't think I don't miss that?
Cameron
We raised our kids right. One of them will come forward, or the other two will rat them out.
Phil