Look, people like you. they find you helpful, like duct tape or a trusty socket wrench. I want you to teach me your secret. I want you to show me how to be a tool.

Lucifer [to Dan]

Oh, gosh, I detest cats. Want an animal to stare at you with contempt? Get a cat. Open a bag of excrement in your house. Cat.

Oh, come on, who doesn't love a sex party? Then again, if you're me, every party's a sex party of sorts.

Yes, my first startup was a sex club, actually. Little place called "Eden." Perhaps you've heard of it.

Oh, goody. They come in more colors. There’s only one body part rubber should be worn on.

Lucifer [about Mr. Richard’s crocs]

Hello. My name is Lucifer Morningstar and I… love drugs. Love them! Mmm! Yummy, yummy, yummy. Can’t get enough. And… I’ve got lots of money… mmm, that I love spending on drugs. Not even picky. I’ll do any of them. Mix them together sometimes.

Is everything all right, Detective? You seem distracted. Usually, I get at least a glimmer of a smile from my remarks, the occasional eye roll. I think I got a snort once.

Lucifer [to Chloe]

Vegas and me? Not pretty.


Lucifer: I don't lie, detective.
Chloe: You also don't tell the whole truth.

Dr. Linda: You scared me! God!
Charlotte: Goddess!

  • Permalink: Goddess!
  • Added:

Lucifer: Don't make me hurt you. Remember, you're not the angel you once were.
Amenadiel: No, Luci, you're right. I'm not. I just need a little time to process what it all means.
Lucifer: Process? Okay. Fine. I suppose we're in no real rush. Process away. I've got E.T. on the DVR if you need a good weep and a package of Haagen Daz in the freezer if that helps.

Going backwards, Lucifer, is not good. For anyone.


Lucifer Quotes

I thought you were different, but I was wrong. You're just like all the others.


I'm like walking heroin...very habit forming. It never ends well.