Wendy: What went down with mother Atwood?
Nico: I wouldn't call her that
Victory: What would you call her?
Nico: Sis?
Victory: What's that mean?
Nico: I dunno, it's weird. There is something. She and I are very... not so different. If we were both in a police lineup I could do time for her crime

Shane: I'm toying with a mustache. Josie wanted me to do some PR shots and she thought a little facial hair may lend me some distinction. What do you think?
Wendy: I think you're distinct, let Josie grow her own mustache

... and on an empty stomach


Kirby: I'm feeling kind of dirty how about we take a shower
Nico: You know what there's still stuff on the table
Kirby: Yeah but the dishes can wait, I can't

Ellen: have you returned any of her calls?
Joe: Have you returned the ring? What are you waiting for?
Ellen: For her to come to her senses

[Ted waving steak knife]
Ted: Shane, tell her she has to do it
Shane: Well, darling, gentleman wielding a steak knife is making a demand

[upon hearing Nico and Tina went to the same Annie Lennox concert]
Kirby: That's wild, you two could have been standing next to each waving your cell phones
Tina: tell him we used to use lighters back then, right after we invented fire

Wow this is something. You could play contact sports in this living room. Don't tell me you already have

Tina [entering Nico's apartment]

Kirby: My mom is very casual
Nico: Are you saying I'm overdressed?
Kirby: Always..
[Kirby begins undressing her]

Nico [holding up dress]: What do you think of this?
Victory: That would impress her if she was a librarian at a women's prison. How did you even put this look together with my clothes?
Nico: I need your help, I'm trying to de-cougarize

Nico [holding up dress]: Hey honey do you have this in a ten?
Victory: Yeah but why are you planning on hiding Kirby under it? Try a four
Nico: No I don't want to wear anything tight, I haven't met a boyfriend's mother since I was dating Charles

Victory: How come your boss hasn't called me by the way?
Ellen: He does have other businesses, princess
Victory: I know but I am getting baskets of fancy jam from complete strangers, he could call and say nice job
Ellen: He is a man of few words... and he doesn't like jam

Lipstick Jungle Quotes

I can't think less of you. You've smelled like mop & glow for the last week.

Victory [to Roy]

Wendy: Sounds like someone is driving without breaks.
Victory [whispers]: Gun it.