Violet: Why do you hate us so much?
Olaf: Because it's fun.

Poor little orphan. Haven't you heard anything this week... season... year?


You were right, these children are horribly impolite.


It's time I got back to my roots.


Oops, I dropped a pen on the floor. Can you help me find it?


Olaf: Do I look your receptionist?
Georgina: Yes, now act like one.

Sir: They're not anywhere nearby, are they?
Violet: They died in a fire.
Sir: Good. What goes around comes around.

This one gets it. In this economy children are lucky to have a job at all.


Put them to work in the mill.


Get a job, hitchhikers.

Truck Driver

It's a good thing I remembered to put gas in my recreational watercraft.


Olaf: The banker's buying.
Mr. Poe: Oh, okay, then.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Quotes

Klaus: It could be a problem with the gears.
Violet: That would be a problem, I made them myself.

Mother: I'm worried about the children.
Father: Me, too. They're in danger, I know it.
Mother: We need to get to them.
Father: We need to get out of here first.
Mother: What's that thing Einstein said?