Pauly D: Como si dice "Jersey, here we come!"
Snooki: Let's get ready to go to Seaside, motherf---kers.
Ronnie: I can't eat any more pasta. Seriously.

Vinnie: We seen you guys use condoms.
Pauly D: Since when do you guys use those? I thought you guys were trying.

Tour guide: Cupid, the son of Venus, who will throw the arrow of love.
Deena: So they're real?
Tour guide: What you mean, they're real?
Deena: The babies with wings? That's cool.
Tour guide: They're the gods of the Greeks and Romans.

Deena: I think the statue of David is pretty sexy. I would do it.
Snooki: If I could change the statue of David, he would look more like a guido. He could have a spray tan. And also, his wiener just doesn't cut it. Probably because he's soft.

When you're trying to eat pizza, there's nothing less appetizing than seeing Deena's dirty thong hanging above your head.


Ronnie and Sam walk into the smoosh room. Five minutes later, they walk out. Now the whole house knows it took five minutes for them to get their smoosh on. No wonder Sam never smiles.

Pauly D

Seeing Nicole cleaning is like seeing Mike with a f-cking condom. It just doesn't happen.


Snooki: Oooh I love the breeze.
Deena: This is wonderful. Down there it was like a frickin' basement. I was getting boob sweat, I was getting like kooka sweat, a--hole sweat.

Vinnie: How'd he take it?
Snooki: We're working on things I guess. I'm not his girlfriend, but we're working on things.
Vinnie: Wanna cuddle?
Snooki: Vinnie! You douche.

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