When Ron is crying on my shoulder, good old Sammi, the sweetest b!tch you'll ever met, is callin' another dude. Sammi, you got caught you sneaky b!tch!


You want my honest opinion? That right there looks suspect.


I look like a total tool, the spray tan is freezing cold, but I know that it's gonna be for a good cause, I'm gonna get tanned. Pain is beauty.


I run into my boy, Arvin ... he looks like a jacked-up-guido-MacGyver!


I look like a pale freak. I feel like Vinny.


It reminds me of the aquarium, the moment you tap the glass and make 'em come to you, it freaks you out.


Whoever I have babies with has to be Italian. I want my kids last name to have a vowel on it... and be tanned, obviously.


[to Pauly] What is with that haircut man? Bride of Frankenstein ain't got nothin' on you!

Vinny's Cousin

I love Vinny's family, they're like my family ... old-school Italian, looks like a Guido Circus.

Pauly D
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