It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXIt's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
Charlie: Did you send him a friend request?
Frank: I don't want to be his friend. I want to shoot him in the face!
Frank: How could you do that?
Barbara: I'm sorry. Would you rather I had them aborted? (looks at Dennis and Dee) Children would you like to have been aborted?
Mac: Then we promise that we will come back with our butts filled.
Charlie: So filled! So filled for you!
Frank: Barbara. Your turkey neck is looking exceptionally attractive this evening.
Barbara: You have turned into a retarded person
Mac: Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?
Charlie: Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!
Mac: All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!
Mac: Oh, man, New Orleans really had their s**t figured out!
Dennis: Oh, they totally had their s**t figured out! Except for the levees.
Mac: Right, yeah, except for the levees.
This music sounds like whales raping each other.
Mac
Dee: Where is your breath?
Charlie: In my mouth?
Dee: No, no. It starts in your chest. You got to focus on your diaphragm.
Charlie: What the hell's a diaphragm?
You know what? Let me kick down a little thing to you that our founding fathers kicked down to me. It goes don't tread on me. And right now, you guy's are treading all over me!
Charlie
Dennis: Failure implies that she actually tried to be an actor.
Dee: Okay, I did try. It just didn't happen to work out.
Frank: It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough.
Dee: Oh, thank you. That's my dad, everybody.
Charlie: I am done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.
Dennis: Well, that's why we call it Charlie work.
Mac: This is why people flock to places like Las Vegas and New Orleans and spring break. Because they're free to go wild. The girls go wild. The girls in Philly need a place to go wild.
Dennis: Yeah, right. I mean New Orleans was washed away in that terrible, terrible storm. We need to open up Paddy's as a haven for freedom.
Mac: Yes.
Dennis: A replacement for the tragic loss of New Orleans.