Tanya: Don't you wanna bring happiness to the world on some level?
Ray: Sure. But for now, I'll settle for employment.

I used to have a family. I used to have a wife, kids, a house, a job. Now, well, now I have my dick. A dick and a dream. If that's not the American way, what is?


(voice-over) There are moments in your life when you realize God is joking. He's up there. Hell, maybe She's up there, laughing her head off. Either way, you're fucked.


(to Ray) You ever been in a threesome? Everyone I've ever been in, the other two people screw while all I do is bring them water.


You know, Ray, sometimes in life, it's best to forget the big problems and just fuck for a little while.

Mrs. Koontz

Lenore: We all bring strengths to the table. For example, I bring a business head. You, Tanya, bring a strong sense of ethics and Ray brings a big dick. We can be like the Three Musketeers.
Tanya: Lenore, Ray is my prostitute!!

Lenore: You need a professional. A sex therapist.
Jessica: You're right. I do. I, I, I need a, uh, a person to talk to about all of my issues.
Lenore: And by sex therapist, I mean someone who will fuck you so good, you don't care what your husband does... or doesn't do.

Ray: The pimp job. It means a lot to her [Tanya].
Lenore: Well, winning Ms. Michigan meant a lot to me, but I had to realize it wasn't my destiny.

Your vagina is like a car battery. You've got to keep it charged.

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