How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 7: "Swarley" Quotes
Barney: She's got the..'Crazy Eyes'.
Ted: Dude...the eyes...they're CRAZY.
Marshall: What are you guys talking about, the 'Crazy Eyes'?
Barney: It's a well-documented condition of the pupils, or pupi.
Ted: Nope, just pupils.
Barney: It's an indicator of future mental instability
Carl: Hey, there's a call for Swarls Barkley. Swarls Barkley?
Robin [taking the phone]: Hey, Ted. No he's not here. Nice one though. Remember that one
Ted: Hey dude, by the way, I really like that suit. Tell me about the fabric; is it foreign or something?
Barney: Wow...it is foreign. I'm impressed, Ted! It's Moroccan, actually.
Ted: Whoa...
[Carl interrupts from the bar]
Carl: I've got a phone call for Swarley. Is there a Swarley here?
Barney: You weren't interested in my suit at all, were you?
Ted [commenting on Marshall's Pumpkin Latte joke]: Alright, there's only two reasons she'd laugh at that: one, it's the first joke she's ever heard, or two, she likes you! You should totally ask her out.
Marshall: You think?
Ted: Yea! That's why you're not back with Lily, right? So you can experience what it's like to be single.
Marshall: Well, what if the heart doesn't mean anything? What if she writes it on all the cups?
Ted: Mine says Ted. No heart.
Barney: Mine says S..Sw...Swarley. How'd they get "Swarley" from 'Barney'? Who would ever be called Swarley?
Ted: So I guess that decides it.
Marshall: Yep.
Barney: Hanging out at a coffee place: not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar.
Ted: ...Hey, what's that?
Marshall: What?
Ted: That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name! Somebody has a crush on you!
Barney: [in a sing-song voice as well] Somebody thinks you're me!