House: If you don't make it, I won't sleep with anyone for at least a month.
Cuddy: Make it two.

Keep talking like Wilson and you're face is gonna freeze like that.

House

I didn't wanna kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly, preferably with acid.

Masters

Good thing I brought my axe cane.

House

Taub: He's doggy padding in the sea of misery. I remember what that was like.
Foreman: Yeah? How far back did you go for that memory? Last night?

She needs support and comfort. Both things I famously suck at.

House

Taub: Can I at least search his house for drugs?
House: Have I ever said no to that question?

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