If the sex is crazy on a regular night, imagine what the VD sex is gonna be like.

Dave

It's like he's squatting in a vacant Bennigans.

Penny

It's 2012, welcome to sexytown, population Jeffrey!

Penny

Old brad didn't take baths because his tub was filled with 311 CDs.

Jane

It's kind of my date V, I get V in this V.

Dave

I call it my emergen-tee.

Dave

You guys are addicted to these addiction shows.

Dave [to Alex and Max]

I don't want no scrub, scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me.

Penny

Don't change for a guy, meet a guy and change him.

Jane

Every choice you make in your life about everything is monumentally wrong.

Jane [to Penny]

I can't believe we thought Hop Sings was rentin' tush!

Max

Stop baby bro-ing me, you're not Johnny Drama.

Dave
Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 148 in total

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]
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