Save the drama for Wilmer Valderama.


You're not the only one who's good at this game Emily Thorne.

Max [to Penny]

He was threatening to blow up this whole operation so I had to go ghost prots on him.

Max [about Dave]

I'm Ellen. I feel like if I'm gonna be a lesbian I might as well go straight to the top!


Alex: This is gonna be so much. I'm gonna get a penis shaped cake and a penis pinata.
Penny: It's a baby shower, not a bachelorette party.
Alex: Right right, ok what kind of penis stuff should I get?

No I'm not pretending I'm pregnant anymore. This is not eighth grade gym class.


Daphne: Seeing Jane married and pregnant has made you regret turning down the world's greatest guy.
Alex: John Krasinsky?

It'll be like "Three's Company!" I'll be adorable Chrissie, Max can be hilarious and you can be Janet.

Alex [to Dave]

Penny: The only people who can get away with being mean are rockstars or brain surgeons or Mr. Phil.
Jane: I think you mean Dr. Phil.
Penny: C'mon it's a PHD. Everybody calm down.

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