Penny: You lied to him?
Jane: Ok I did not know he was going to come in like he just shot the sheriff.

C'mon boo, it's not like you never thought about it Harvey Chocolate Milk.

Max [to Brad]

Wait is this gonna be a classic group gang hang?


Dave: I think our wedding was pretty spectacular.
Brad: Yeah the only thing missing was a bride that stayed for the duration of the reception.

I can't believe anyone voluntarily decided to marry Penny. I mean she's a disaster of a human woman, am I right?


I get the P shaped sandwiches for Penny and Pete, but what is with the lower case b's?


Aww you're my little (and this is a working nickname) my sweet hunk of pete meat.


Pete you son of a bitch, you're as innocent as you are stunning.


Pen I live by mafia rules, you, your family, anybody in the room. Y'all gotta pay, that's how I roll.

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