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Lily: You know you're not so bad at that double-agent thing yourself.
Rufus: Think he bought it?
- Permalink: You know you're not so bad at that double-agent thing yourself. ...
Rufus: You think I'm a fool? I know what went on between the two of you. And it looks like it's still going.
Lily: Please. This is not the time.
Rufus: You're the one who invited him to Eric's eighteenth birthday party.
Russell: Actually I was just leaving.
Lily: You know, some men know how to behave appropriately at social events. Russell, I'm so sorry. I'll call you later.
- Permalink: You think I'm a fool? I know what went on between the two of you...
Lily: What are you doing? Do you realize how gauche it is to open gifts at a party? Before dessert!
Eric: I was just so excited to have an addition to my stock portfolio.
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Nate: Gloat all you want to, just... don't tell anyone I danced to Tik Tok.
Raina: I wouldn't call that dancing.
- Permalink: Gloat all you want to, just... don't tell anyone I danced to Tik...
Dan: I know you only admitted you needed me so you could make me your drug mule.
Blair: That sticky note was meant for Penelope. Frankly with her attitude she could use some time behind bars.
Dan: So that's it? There's no "I'm sorry I could have gotten you arrested."?
Blair: Well, you're here. The party's lovely. Everything obviously turned out fine.
Serena: Except that you sent Dan to get the wrong flowers. The tulips with the coke were pink.
Blair: And I wrote that down. This one's on you, Humphrey.
Dan: You wrote purple. Classic Stroop Effect.
Blair: Where you write or say a color that you see instead of the one you mean. You're not the only one who knows his neurodysfunction.
- Permalink: I know you only admitted you needed me so you could make me your...
Serena: These are purple.
Eric: Ugh. And... planty.
- Permalink: These are purple. Ugh. And... planty.
Dan: Tell her that I got all of her texts and her handwritten letters and I will be in touch when I'm ready.
Ben: He saysâ€” Do I really have to say that? Shouldn't you just talk to her yourself?
Dan: No no no. Giving her the message myself will defeat the entire purpose of message.
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Painting It Black has nothing on the trouble one piece of purple paper can cause.Gossip Girl
- Permalink: Painting It Black has nothing on the trouble one piece of purple...
Dan: Now what's so urgent?
Blair: I wanted to tell you... that you were right... about that thing.
Dan: And now which thing was that?
Blair: I, Blair Waldorf, need Dan Humphrey's help.
Dan: "As a friend and peer, not as an underling."
Blair: As my friend and peer not my underling.
- Permalink: Now what's so urgent? I wanted to tell you... that you were ri...
Serena: Blair, we need your help with a scheme.
Dan: She can't.
Blair: Ahâ€” I can! New paragraph. "The Nude Maja began Goya's separation from religious iconographyâ€”"
Serena: What are you doing here?
Dan: I'm leaving. This just went from Woman on the Verge to Saw II. I don't really like gore porn really.
- Permalink: Blair, we need your help with a scheme. She can't. Ahâ€” I c...
Dan: When was the last time you slept?
Blair: Sleep is for the weak.
- Permalink: When was the last time you slept? Sleep is for the weak.
Dan: Sure you're not ready to admit you need my help?
Blair: Never! No, never isn't what he transitioned Spain into, it's Modernism and don't get caught talking during a test!
- Permalink: Sure you're not ready to admit you need my help? Never! No, ne...