Doug: We're getting attacked by Christian conservatives.
Chuck: We have those in Manhattan?"

A DNA test? You've been watching too much CBS.

Blair

I never realized how many sex puns you can make out of Chuck Bass.

Jack

Serena: Sometimes I wish I had waited for someone special, like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.
Jenny: Dirty Dancing?

I'm not quite in the mood to celebrate any of your former husbands right now.

Rufus

We have innocence, good breeding, and Doug Jarrett, one of the best lawyers in New York, on our side. It's a slam dunk.

Blair

If he were a vampire, I could slip garlic in her waffles or something.

Rufus

Blair: I can see he's starting to doubt himself.
Serena: Why wouldn't he? With the bad press, the protesters, the Daily Intel says he's thinking of stepping down.

[to Dan] By the way, I'm not wearing any underwear.

Vanessa
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