Jane: Why are you gossiping when a deal you're running point on is falling apart on live television?
Serena: I'm sorry. This is Blair, my best friend. I figured maybe she could help.
Jane: This isn't high school. This is my business. I told you not to embarrass me.

Dr. Eliza Barnes: It's obvious that you're deeply troubled and I would be more than happy to help if you were truly interested—in therapy. Now if you'll excuse me, I have Yom Kippur services.
Chuck: Oh. You're Jewish.
Dr. Eliza Barnes: Not that that's any of your business, but I converted.
Chuck: Well that's probably a smart move in your line of work.

Alessandra: Public television is the last bastion of the intellectual. If this goes well, Charlie Rose could be next.
Dan: Oh, that's a good tactic. Piling on the pressure right before your already-prone-to-nervous-rambling client goes on live television for the first time.

Yom Kippur at the Waldorfs will truly be a high holy day, now that Her Royal Highness Princess Sophie has jetted in from Monaco for a bagel and a schmear.

Gossip Girl

Charlie: Diana, I swear it wasn't me.
Diana: Since you lie like most people breathe, your oath means very little. Don't forget, my biggest story is you.

Diana: And you had me believe crazy was just an act? I think you might be suicidal.
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Diana: You start work here under — shall we say — duress, and within five minutes there's a catastrophic leak to my competitor.

Hey Jane. I swallowed my pride and outrage and did what you asked. We should have Dan's book later today.

Serena

Serena: I may have overreacted about how you portrayed me in the book.
Dan: Thank you so much. You know I have to admit it's been kind of hard. My dad and Nate and Blair still won't talk to me.
Serena: Well things are looking up then. One down, three to go.
Dan: Never thought you'd be the first.
Serena: I am full of surprises. You know that.

Nate: Listen, if we launch now everyone will know she's talking about you.
Diana: Not necessarily.
Nate: No, it's too big of a risk.

Imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery, but stealing is an outright crime. And that's what a new rival has committed when cell phones disappeared and reappeared at the Jenny Packham show.

Gossip Girl

Chuck: Humphrey, I'm feeling like my old self again.
Dan: Me too. Although not in a good way. I really thought the days of everyone turning their backs on me were over.
Chuck: Well, at last this time it's because they hate you and not because they don't know you exist. Be patient. Soon your literary misdeeds will be forgotten.

I have to say, when you asked me where you could buy vintage magazines this isn't what I thought you were talking about.

Chuck
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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Blair: I hope they take it well. Nothing matters more than our child being born into a big happy family.
Louis: Are you ready?

On the Upper East Side, it's not what you say that determines who you are. It's what you do.

Gossip Girl
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