What's that? Your stripper money?

Vanessa (to Chuck)

Chuck: Poor little Humphrey Dumpty. Look, let me clarify something for you. Regardless of who you're currently sleeping with, you and I come from different worlds. In my world, if I'm suspended or expelled, a wing is donated in the Bass name.
Dan: That sounds like quite a world.
Chuck: It's not perfect, I'll admit.

You are so naive. Michael Moore over there is obviously just using this film to get close to Dan.

Blair (to Serena)

[to Dan] What do the Humphreys have to offer? Your dad's cassingle?


Serena: "What are you up to besides missing me?"
Dan: "Just wondering whether you were missing me."

I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I'd never done that stupid thing before. You look confused... should I walk you through it?


(on Rufus' song) Okay, not big on the soundtrack, whatever movie he's scoring sounds depressing.


Chuck: You know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister. And you know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.
Serena: Ah. Incest, the universal taboo. One of the, uh, only ones you haven't violated.
Chuck: I'm game if you are.

Vanessa: So Dan, what will it be? Cheerios and Chaucer, or an illegal party at your prep school pool with your high society girlfriend and her nasty cohorts?
Dan: Dad? Vanessa and I are going out!

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