Juliet: Nate, this isn't me. You know that.
Nate: How would I ever believe anything you say again?
Blair: Well you can believe the part where she does her own hair.

Chuck: [to Juliet] Your obsession with Serena has grown tiresome.
Blair: [also to Juliet] Just because you have no money and delusions of grandeur does not make it okay for you to be a single white trash female.

Juliet, I don't like tattletales much more than I like young women who use their sexuality to further their academic careers. So if you will please excuse me, I'm going to try my best to to enjoy this performance. Which, hopefully, is a little more graceful than the one I've just seen.

Dean Reuther

Juliet: Don't you see? They're all protecting each other.
Vanessa: This is what they always do.
Dean Reuther: I'm sorry. Who are you?

Chuck: If I could say something. I for one can fully corroborate Miss Waldorf's story. She was indeed having an affair with Professor Forrester. I know this because I keep tabs on everyone Blair sees and talks to, due to my insatiable jealousy. Though she did state something to the effect that he didn't quite satisfy her like I used to.
Blair: It's true.

Why would I jeopardize my college career by lying? So go ahead, fire Colin. Oh wait! He already quit. So let's just go in and enjoy some jeté. Allegro.

Blair

Face it, at the end of the day you're an outsider just like me. And if it's ever between one of us and Serena van der Woodsen, they will always choose Serena.

Vanessa

Everyone your own age is mad at you so you're befriending the dean?

Nate

Serena: I don't understand. You brought Colin as your date. Are you on a sugar high?
Blair: No. He's your date. Not mine.

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