Chuck: Uncle Jack, what a surprise. How've you been?
Jack: Uh-huh, so I take it you don't remember our rickshaw ride down Selon Road? The 15-hour flight?
Chuck: ... that was you?

Jack: What seems to be the problem?
Headmistress Queller: I found Charles smoking marijuana on school property.
Chuck: Hash, actually. I find it gives a smoother high.
Jack: Sounds to me like the evidence is questionable.

Serena: [hugs Dan] This is MY news.
Blair: A postcard would have been fine. I'm really happy for you. I'm going to go vomit now.

Serena: He was probably thinking about you the whole time he was in Thailand.
Blair: Not unless I was a Thai hooker named Bo.

Jack: Blair, you came to greet us.
Blair: Not you. Chuck. You said you found him.
Jack: In Bangkok. He was staying at our hotel there. You hear the term "den of iniquity," but until you really see one -
Blair: Do you have him or not?

Dan: Oh, Dad. We were just, um... we're busted.
Rufus: I don't like the two of you being alone here when I'm not.
Dan: You're kidding, right?
Rufus: This is my home and I would appreciate it if you respected that.

[to Dan] It's done as soon as you tell her... Sharing a sibling is a bit much, even for me.

Chuck

Penelope: We're more than any one member. And the only way Nelly is leaving is in a body bag.
Hazel: God. P. Tone down the crazy.

Word is Serena van der Woodsen tangoed in the New Year in the plazas of Buenos Aires.

Gossip Girl

Eric: How was Thailand?
Chuck: I honestly don't remember.
Eric: You should come home, Chuck.
Chuck: I think I'll take the view from above. It was nice having you as my little brother.

[to Eric] It was fun being your brother ... I think I'm going to take in the view from above.

Chuck

Dan: Hey. You're back.
Serena: Yeah. Just. I literally drove here from the airport.
Dan: Well you look tan.
Serena: Well it is summer in Buenos Aires.
Dan: That's right. Southern hemisphere.
Serena: I broke up with Aaron.

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 14 Quotes

Jenny: Okay no. That's not okay.
Eric: Here we go ...

Jenny: They treat her like their servant.
Eric: And it is none of your business. It's a new year, remember? A new Jenny Humphrey?