Chuck: I owe you a lot, Jack, you saved my life when I didn't want it to be saved.
Jack: Well, you noticed that Thai waitress I was going to take home the other night had a penis, so we're even.

It's so hard finding obedient minions.


You don't think I've thought about this child every day of his life? You want to meet him. Have you thought about what happens after that? What if we find out he's had a horrible life? Or what if we instantly love him and then it's very clear that we've made a terrible mistake?


I'm not ready to leave yet. Maybe we should write the family a letter.


Nate: [on Bart's letter] Aren't you curious what it says?
Chuck: I think I can guess. You're a disappointment of a son; I'd die of embarrassment if I hadn't already; why do you wear so much purple?

Serena: I'm here on a rather pathetic mission. I'm boyfriend snooping.
Vanessa: I see.
Serena: It's not something I'm proud of, but I don't know what else to do. Something's going on with Dan, I thought I knew what it was but I don't. I was wondering if he said anything to you.
Vanessa: No he didn't. I'm sorry.

Serena: I figured if he would've told anyone, he would've told you.
Vanessa: Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll tell you. Dan's not exactly one for keeping secrets.
Serena: I used to think that, but now I don't know anymore.

Jack: I hope you don't mind. I let myself in.
Chuck: I've made my decision, Jack.
Jack: I know. And I owe you an apology. The fact is you're Bart's son. And it is your rightful place.
Chuck: Your blessing means a lot to me.
Jack: Good. Now before we start spooning I want to take you out tonight, to properly celebrate.

Chuck: I'm having dinner with Blair.
Jack: Reschedule Blair.
Chuck: I can't. She's been a good friend to me.
Jack: The last time I had a friend like that I wind up with gonorrhea.
Chuck: Suprex?
Jack: Rocephin.

Is this who Chuck Bass imagines himself to be? A man who goes to the office, then comes home to wife? It's no coincidence your father had his most success when he was single. I invited a few friends to join us ... guess I'll have to entertain them on my own. Last chance ...


Rufus: Hey Dan, what's up.
Dan: Hey, you do realize the reason Serena and I broke up was the fact that she was so secretive. Now I'm the one keeping secrets.

Dan: [on phone, walking away] I don't like lying to my girlfriend. Serena has a right to know what's going on.
Isabel: Oh my god, we have to tell Serena.
Nelly: Tell her what? We don't know what he's lying about.
Penelope: Why are you talking? Last I checked you were still on probation.

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 15 Quotes

Nelly: We should at least tell Blair.
Isabel: We can't. Blair's with Chuck. Again.
Penelope: I'm really getting sick of how much time she's spending with him.
Isabel: His dad just died.
Penelope: Yeah, like a month ago.

Serena: Look, I know you've been avoiding me, but my mom called from Boston this morning and I asked her point blank. You have nothing to worry about.
Dan: Worried? Who said anything about being worried? What'd she say?
Serena: That there's nothing going on between her and Rufus.
Dan ... Oh.