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Why don't you go home, rest, die? It doesn't matter. Because as my first official act as principal, you are fired.


There's no reason for you to be here... really, there's no reason for you to be here.


Holly: You're like a total drag. Has anyone ever told you that?
Puck: I have.

They look like deep fried deep poop.

Brittany [on tater tots]

When I showed this to Brittany, she whimpered and thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy people lived.

Sue [on a piece of broccoli]

Hoarders is great. But Animal Hoarders is better.

Sue and Holly

Less than 24 hours after my plan to replace all chairs with sharp poles, in my war against sitting... I need a cause.


Mr. Schuester's set list makes it seem like he hasn't listened to the radio since the 80s.


At least I didn't fall and break my talent.

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