I don't buy that. I don't think any one decision makes your life unless you accidentally invent some kind of zombie virus or something.

Finn

It was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew, and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants.

Puck

Someone get me to a day spa! Stat!

Kurt

Status is like currency. When your bank account is full, you can get away with doing just about anything. But right now, we're, like, toxic assets.

Quinn

I don't think any one decision makes your life. Unless you invent some sort of zombie virus or something.

Finn

I can't be caged in, Sue. That's why I got my tiger tattoo.

Rod

Know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes or how the slushee drips into your underpants. It's the humiliation.

Puck

Your commitment to football is about as long as your pants.

Will

What kid is gonna choose glee club over football? It would be ridiculous.

Sue

You sunk my battleship, Rod. And you sunk it hard.

Sue

I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.

Sue

Your arms are lovely. But I just don't see us working out.

Rachel

Glee Season 1 Episode 8 Quotes

The slushee wars have commenced. None of us are safe.

Mercedes

It's my personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon.

Puck