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Mercedes: So is that a men sweater?
Kurt: Fashion has no gender.

Rachel: Kurt, I need to talk to you about something.
Kurt: Oh, please not another pregnancy.
Rachel: Kurt, we have a lot more in common than you think.
Kurt: That's a terrible thing to say.

I'm the captain of the U.S.S. Kick Ass - not the U.S.S. Back Talk.

Coach Beiste

Oh God, Will, let me break it down for you. High school's a dry run for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be champions; not everyone should be champions. The world needs fry cooks; bus drivers...


People thought I went on vacation but I really spent the summer lost in the sewers.


Did you know there's a forum on my blog begging you to stop rapping?

Jacob (to Will)

The two of you are making a mistake, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexicans sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross.


Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I wanna touch her boobs.


Boobs McGee, you're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, so when it collapses, your exploding sandbags will keep everyone safe from injury.


A person that has to pump her naughties full of gravy to feel good about herself clearly doesn't have the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader.


I don't need the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together.


Everyone told me that Sue was the school bully and you were really nice. Guess they got that half right.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 25 in total

Glee Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Even if your team has dropped their sequin-covered panties and urinated all over the stage like an elderly Carol Channing, they literally could not have done worse.


One girl ate a pigeon. That's how badly they wanna be Cheerios.

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