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Mercedes: So is that a men sweater?
Kurt: Fashion has no gender.

Rachel: Kurt, I need to talk to you about something.
Kurt: Oh, please not another pregnancy.
Rachel: Kurt, we have a lot more in common than you think.
Kurt: That's a terrible thing to say.

I'm the captain of the U.S.S. Kick Ass - not the U.S.S. Back Talk.

Coach Beiste

Oh God, Will, let me break it down for you. High school's a dry run for the rest of your life. Not everyone can be champions; not everyone should be champions. The world needs fry cooks; bus drivers...


People thought I went on vacation but I really spent the summer lost in the sewers.


Did you know there's a forum on my blog begging you to stop rapping?

Jacob (to Will)

The two of you are making a mistake, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexicans sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross.


Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I wanna touch her boobs.


Boobs McGee, you're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, so when it collapses, your exploding sandbags will keep everyone safe from injury.

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