Marnie: Ray broke up with me. Can you believe it?
Hannah: Kind of, yeah. I mean, you're, like, a horrible cunt to him, so...

Jesus, don't worry about it. Kids are super easy. It's being an adult that's hard.

Genevieve [to Hannah]

Every time I look at your baby, I will see my own death.

Loreen [to Hannah]

Elijah: You're not ready for this.
Hannah: No, you're not ready for this.
Elijah: I'm gonna say this to your face, 'cause no one else will have the guts to. You're gonna be a terrible mother.

Elijah: Well, I wasn't planning on sharing an apartment with some boring, 27-year-old single mom.
Hannah: Well, I don't have to be boring! I could be a cool single mom. Like, you know, Lorelai Gilmore!

Mom, you cannot run away like that, okay? This is Brooklyn. It's one of the most dangerous places in America. You don't know the terrain. You're not Lil' Kim.

Hannah

Loreen! No. Sorry, sorry. Not Loreen. [to Hannah] Not your mother. That was an ashtray person.

Elijah [to stranger]

Hannah: Have you seen my mom?
Elijah: You lost Loreen?
Hannah: Elijah, she's high on pot gummies, okay? She left all my laundry on the stoop. Look, this is her dress! She could be being sex-trafficked for all I know!
Elijah: What is this, "The Muppets Take Manhattan"?

Adam: The scene is about the fact that these two people, while they have a very strong animalistic connection, they're ultimately only going to hurt each other. It's about the tragedy of realizing the relationship is too intense to survive.
Jessa: Adam, that's us. We're the intense ones. All you and Hannah ever did was sit around, watching those shows about when fat people do up their houses or whatever, or you ate Frito-Lays in bed. And then you met me, remember? And then you met me, and then we had a real connection, you had real feeling. And that's what this movie's about!

I'm not a bad person, by the way.

Marnie [to Ray]

Ray: Or, alternatively, you could go, we could not meet up later, and instead, we could just break up.
Marnie: Wait, what?
Ray: I think we should break up.
Marnie: Ray, I think this might be the grief talking... and potentially also the asbestos.

Shoshanna: Yeah, I literally hate death.
Ray: Yeah, well, it's right there, right in front of us, just patiently waiting to take us all.
Shoshanna: No. Not me.
Ray: No?
Shoshanna: Yeah, no, it's super random, but I'm just not gonna die, like, ever.
Ray [laughs]: Good. Good, 'cause I don't think I could handle that.

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.