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Robot Hell Song:
Robot Devil: Cigars are evil,
You won't miss 'em,
We'll find ways to simulate that smell,
What a sorry fella,
Rolled up and smoked like a donnetela,
Here on Level One of Robot Hell.
Robot Devil: Gambling's wrong and so is cheating,
So is forging phoney IOU's,
Let's let Lady Luck decide,
What type of torture's justified,
I'm pit boss here on Level Two.
Robot Devil: Ooo, deep-fried robot!
Bender: Just tell me why...
Robot Devil: Check out this 55-page warrant.
Bender: There must be robots worse than I...
Robot Devil: We've checked it out; there really aren't.
Bender: Then please let me explain,
My crimes were merely boy-ish pranks...
Robot Devil: You stole from boy scouts, nuns, and banks!
Bender: Ah, don't blame me;
Blame my upbringing!
Robot Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!
Robot Devil: Selling bootleg tapes is wrong,
Musicians need that income to survive.
Beastie Boys: Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise,
With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys!
That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on Level Five!
Fry: I don't feel well...
Leela: It's up to us to rescue him.
Fry: Maybe he likes it here in Hell...
Leela: It's us who tempted him to sin.
Fry: Maybe he's back at the motel...
Leela: Come on, Fry, don't be scared,
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared,
So just sit back, enjoy the ride.
Fry: My ass has blisters from the slide!
Robot Devil: Fencing diamonds,
Fixing cockfights,
Publishing indecent magazines,
You'll pay for every crime,
Knee-deep in electric slime,
You'll suffer till the end of time,
Enduring tortures, most of which rhyme,
Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!

Y'know, as a major Hollywood director, I'll be holding auditions tonight for my next movie. And even though you're all young and naive, I think you might just have what it takes.

Bender

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, here to lay down some old, old, incredibly old school beats: The Beastie Boys!

Fender: Hey, fellas, hey. I want you to meet my friends, Bender, Fry and Leela.
Ad-Rock: Y'know, we're really not that interested in meeting them.

Hermes: And as a further cost-cutting measure, I have eliminated the salt-water cooler.
Zoidberg: This is a witch hunt!

Fender: Come on, Bender, grab a jack. I told these guys you were cool.
Bender: Well, if jacking on'll make strangers think I'm cool, I'll do it!

Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.

Bender

Leela: (knocks on the restroom door) Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?
Bender: No! Don't come in!

Leela: What in hell happened to Bender?
Fry: Well he didn't check out. The ashtray's still here. Look, Nibbler's caught the scent of vodka and motor oil!

Fry: Bender, are you alright?
Bender: No! Oh, they're tormenting me with up-tempo singing and dancing.

Fry: Great! He's whacked out on electricity again.
Bender: No, I'm whacked out on life. My friends, I found religion.
Fry: Religion? Is this another scam to get free yarmulkes?

Fender: Hey, Bender!
Bender: Hey, Fender! Man, I haven't seen you since high school. You still workin' at Jack In The Box?
Fender: Not anymore, buddy! I'm with the band!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 376 in total

Futurama Season 1 Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

(Fry and Bender are watching All my Circuits)
Fry: So, who's that weird-looking guy?
Bender: That's a human.
Fry: What's he do?
Bender: Eh, the usual human stuff. He laughs, he learns, he loves.
Fry: Boring.

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