Leela: If this helps Bender clean up his act then I think we should be supportive.
Farnsworth: Yes.
Amy: Oh, yeah.
Hermes: Oh, yes!
Zoidberg: Oh, yeah.
Bender: Wonderful. Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long, un-air-conditioned baptism ceremony!

Do I preach to you while you're lying stoned in a gutter?


Fry: Who was that guy?
Bender: Your momma. Now shut up and drag me to work...

Fry: Unbelievable. It's an actual, factual Robot Hell.
Leela: Who would've thought hell would really exist? And that it would be in New Jersey!

Leela: Alright, Beelzebot... What'll it take to get our friend back?
Robot Devil: Sorry, but I hold all the cards here. There's nothing I can do. (pulls out a pen and sheet of paper) Now, if you'll just sign this fiddle contest waiver...
(Fry reaches out for the pen and Leela slaps it out of his hand.)
Leela: Wait. What fiddle contest?
Robot Devil: (sighs roughly) The Fairness In Hell Act of 2275 requires me to inform you that if you can best me in a fiddle contest, you win back Bender's soul... as well as a solid gold fiddle.
Fry: Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound crummy?
Robot Devil: Well, it's mostly for show.

Robot Devil: We know all your sins, Bender! And for each one we've prepared an agonising and ironic punishment! (turns head) Gentlemen...
(A robot band plays up-tempo music.)
Bender: Ah, crap. Singing... Mind if I smoke?

Leela: Do you know how to play the fiddle?
Fry: No. Do you?
Leela: No, but I used to play the drums. They're sorta similar.

Amy: Good morning, Bender.
Bender: None of your business! Get off my back!

Leela: Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring.
Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we loved you.

Fender: Hey, fellas, hey. I want you to meet my friends, Bender, Fry and Leela.
Ad-Rock: Y'know, we're really not that interested in meeting them.

Leela: (hanging on to Bender while flying out) Hurry, Bender!
Bender: I could, if you dropped that stupid gold violin!
Leela: Oh, sorry. (lets go of the gold fiddle and it lands on the Robot Devil)

Leela: What in hell happened to Bender?
Fry: Well he didn't check out. The ashtray's still here. Look, Nibbler's caught the scent of vodka and motor oil!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 376 in total

Futurama Season 1 Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Fry: Can I do the countdown?
Leela: Huh? Oh, sure. Knock yourself out.
Fry: Ten... nine -
Leela: OK, we're here!
Fry: Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff!

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