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Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, here to lay down some old, old, incredibly old school beats: The Beastie Boys!

Wow! An old-fashioned mosh pit! Come on, guys. Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999 ... again.

Fry

Fry: Wow! I love you guys! Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums.
Ad-Rock: That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven.
Fry: Cool! Can I borrow the new ones? And a couple of blank tapes?

Fry: We've got to get the old Bender back.
Leela: And I think I know a way to do it. We have to reacquaint him with a little thing called "sleaze".

Leela: What happens if we lose?
Robot Devil: You'll only win a smaller, silver fiddle. Also I guess I'll kill one of you, uh, him. (points to Fry)
Leela: We'll do it.

Bender: Um, I'm only hallucinating this, right?
(The Robot Devil cracks his whip; Bender yelps.)
Robot Devil: No, Bender! Robot Hell is quite real! Here's our brochure. (hands Bender a brochure entitled "Hell Is Other Robots")
Bender: But I don't belong here! I don't like things that are scary and painful!
Robot Devil: Sorry, Bender. You agreed to this when you joined our religion. If you sin, you go to Robot Hell... (evilly) for all eternity!
Bender: Aw, hell... I mean heck!
Robot Devil: It's alright, you can say that here.

Fender: Hey, Bender, why don't we ditch these organ sacks and hit the real party?
Bender: Count me in! I'm gonna drink till I reboot!

Hermes: And as a further cost-cutting measure, I have eliminated the salt-water cooler.
Zoidberg: This is a witch hunt!

Leela: What in hell happened to Bender?
Fry: Well he didn't check out. The ashtray's still here. Look, Nibbler's caught the scent of vodka and motor oil!

Bender: Friends! Friends! Surely you're not going to eat before we say Robot Grace? In the name of all that is good and logical we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic: 1000101010101... (Time Lapse)... 010110012. Amen.

Fry: Who was that guy?
Bender: Your momma. Now shut up and drag me to work...

Fender: Come on, Bender, grab a jack. I told these guys you were cool.
Bender: Well, if jacking on'll make strangers think I'm cool, I'll do it!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 376 in total

Futurama Season 1 Quotes

Bender: Now Wireless Joe Jackson, there was a blern-hitting machine!
Leela: Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns! I mean, come on, Wireless Joe was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.
Bender: Oh, and I suppose Pitchomat 5000 was just a modified howitzer?
Leela: Yep.

Fry: Hurry up! I wanna see the Moon!
Leela: Relax. It's open 'till 9.