Zoidberg: Welcome back old friend, I missed you terribly!
Hermes: You do everything terribly! And I'm not your friend!
Zoidberg: Hahahaha! Good old Hermes! When he stops insulting, that's when I worry!

I'm kind of a harpoon snob, and let me say, that thing is gorgeous.

Amy

LaBarbara: Is that a harpoon in your chest?!
Hermes: Yes! And I'm happy to see you!

Hemes: So I hear you're an expert in the shadowy field of body augmentation?
Yuri: I am expert in shadowy field of many things.

Fry: Hey, Bender! You should become an executioner! You could kill humans and wear a cool hood.
Bender: Nah, I like my victims to know who did it.

Zoidberg: You don't understand, he was the only one who cared enough to insult me! I'll never see Hermes again!
Hermes: On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.

Hermes: People, as company bureaucrat, I will today be performing the annual performance review - with a twist!
Fry: Oh no, the firing tie!
Hermes: Correct. I will be evaluating each of you, and the lowest-rated employee - possibly Zoidberg - will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: Hohohohoho. Classic Hermes.

My job? Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets, plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.

Scruffy

Kif: And she doesn't even want to cuddle any more, she just wants to hit me with various chairs.
Fry: You're lucky. I can't even get Leela to verbally abuse me.

Fry: Bender, you wanna go out and do something?
Bender: Oh, so now I'm your last resort booty call, huh? Okay, let's go!

Leela: Professor, there's nothing wrong with Nectar. It's all natural.
Professor Farnsworth: So are carrots, but you don't see me injecting them between my toes! [Lights up carrot, smokes it]

Well, we lost to all our opponents. Even that team that turned out to be us in the mirror.

Leela
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 1813 in total

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Amy: Don't worry, Mom! You can always come live with me!
Inez Wong: No we can't! Who you think been paying your rent?
Amy: What's rent?

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