Fry: Kill all modern humans!
Bender: Hey, this guy's alright!

Ah, Leela! We meet again, but this time I'm the one criticizing the sausage!

Zapp Brannigan

3rd place? This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!

Bender

So my sadness makes perfect sense. And I do have vague memories of people refusing to breed with me.

Fry

Anyone dumb enough get stuck in ice probably neanderthal.

Neanderthal Woman

But what about my feelings? Fry was my best friend! And now he's dead! [starts crying] Just kidding, my pastor helped me past my grief.

Bender

Leela: I ate Fry! I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!
Professor Farnsworth: Oh now, now, we've all been there.

Fry: And the worst part is, I had to have the breakup sex by myself!
Bender: Fry, some of us have real problems! I just learned there are people with fancier sausage meats than me!

Man, all the fun has been taken out of this once-noble Barfapalooza!

Fry

It's July, right? Let's wait three months and go to Oktoberfest!

Professor Farnsworth

Oh, I can't do this, Hermes. Your wife's moving pleas have made me realize you might have litigious survivors.

Professor Farnsworth

Hermes: Oh no, no more implants. I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you.
Bender: Oh, that's sweet, Hermes.

Futurama Quotes

Singer: Call Robo-Rooter when you flush your towel.
Plumber-bot: And we can also help with an impacted bowel!

Little: Hello and welcome to a remarkable championship bout. Destructor, a robotic armoured tank, whose very use at battle has been ruled a war crime, versus Gender Bender, who wears a pink tutu. This is Rich Little, imitating Howard Cosell, here at ringside with George Foreman. George, a word in edgewise?
Foreman: This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an 80-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. M-My memory's not what it used to be but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.
Little: Interesting, if true. The Vegas odds tonight stand at an unprecedented 1000-0; a bet of $0 on Bender pays $1000 if he wins. Still, very few takers.
Foreman: It's not-not a smart bet.