That is one crazy, uncircumcised man.

Bender

Thanks to you, I went on a soul-searching journey. I hate those!

Bender

Welcome to MomCorp. Did you find everything you were burgling for?

Mom

Bender: How does a robot join this monk outfit?
AbBot: Just put on this monk outfit.

Bender: I gotta mope things over for a while.
Fry: What's happening?
Leela: I don't know. I think he's shuffling off sadly in the distance.
Fry: Oh lord.

I wish I was a real boy, then I'd show them. I'd kill them all.

Bender

Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Also, good news everyone! We have a delivery to the robot homeworld!

Professor Farnsworth

Bender: Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones and you'll wind up face down in a pool of your own blood and urine.
Zoidberg: Still, to have your own pool!

Bender: It's been quite a journey. I dropped out of school, joined a gang, took money from a loan shark, and fell into a spiral of despair, addiction, and discount prostitution.
Hermes: Mon, you had one hell of a day.

Hedonism Bot: Hello, handsome. Might I procure your services?
Bender: Uh, what do I have to do?
Hedonism Bot: Oh, nothing sordid, I assure you. Simply vomit on me oh so gently while I humiliate a pheasant.

Bender: What is that, drugs?
Paco: Nah, but it's a lot like drugs.

Robot: Ooh, I like your nerd classes. Are you a college student?
Bender: A college student? Hahahaha!
Robot: Because if you are, I'd like to invite you to a hot sorority party tonight.
Bender: Yes, I'd like to enroll in college.
Robot: You're still talking to me.
Bender: Oops.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1813 in total

Futurama Quotes

Farnsworth: (on the phone) Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? To shreds, you say. Very well then. (hangs up) Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague, Dr. Mobutu.
Leela: Was his apartment rent-controlled?

Fry: Bender, what is it?
Bender: Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere. And I thought I saw a two.
Fry: It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two.

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