(To Rachel) Wait a minute, I know that hat. I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me. I can't have children!

Chandler

If you go with Bonnie you're doing the smart, sensible thing and moving on, and, if you go with Rachel, does that mean Bonnie's free tonight?

Joey

Rachel: (About Bonnie) Is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well, you know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries she's done it in.
Joey: Well, I think we all learned something.

Rachel: Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: You know what, hey! You're the one who ended it! Remember?
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you!

Chandler: Joey will be right down. He's just looking for his mask.
Monica: A swim mask?
Chandler: No, his gorilla mask. He wears it in the ocean to scare off the fish.

Rachel: (About Bonnie's baldness) See, she doesn't look that bad.
Ross: You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head!

Monica: So what's Phoebe like?
Phoebe: I'm kind, caring, and sweet. What's Monica like?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.

Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Ross: Yeah? What about, ah, that bike messenger you hit?
Phoebe: Oh, I wasn't talking about his karma.

Joey: But you'd go out with me, right?
Monica: No! It is the same as with Chandler. We're friends.
Joey: Well, let's say we're the last two guys on the planet and you had a gun to your head. Which one would you pick?
Monica: Which one of you has the gun to my head?

Ross: You still love me?
Rachel: No.
Ross: You still love me.
Rachel: Oh yeah, so, you love me!
Ross: No, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
Rachel: No. Maybe. I don't know. Ross, I still can't forgive you for what you did, I can't, I just, but sometimes when I'm with you I just, I feel so...
Ross: What?!
Rachel: I just, I feel, I just...
Ross: What?
Rachel: I feel...

Chandler: If worse comes to worse, I'll be your boyfriend.
Monica: (Laughing) Yeah right.

Rach, you balded my girlfriend!

Ross

Friends Season 3 Quotes

(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?

Rachel: Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: You know what, hey! You're the one who ended it! Remember?
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you! Not because I stopped loving you!