Monica: (About their future) Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
Richard: Like a hound?
Monica: Not a basset. A bassinet.
Richard: You really need the bassinet?
Monica: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog.

(Making a toast) I remember when Barry came back from his first date with Rachel... (To Barry) What? You hired the same band, I can't use the same speech?

Joel

Phoebe: We're just trying to figure out if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Joey: Oh, well just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Chandler: How do you not fall down more?

Chandler: (Realizing his internet girl is Janice) Oh my God!
Janice: Oh... my... God! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Ross, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe: Oh... my... God!

Monica: I read an article the other day that said you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat it, it kills them.
Richard: So that's why you never see pigeons in sushi bars.

Rachel: Why the hell didn't you tell me!
Ross: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do? Stand up and shout "Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!"
Rachel: Yeah, better you than Barry's uncle. Oh, my God this is so humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the "Copacabana" in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh, my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
Rachel: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.

Chandler, you have got to stop staring at that door. It's like a watched pot. If you keep watching it, the door is never gonna boil.

Phoebe

(About being forced to wear a bright pink, fluffy bridesmaid dress) I cannot believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 looking like something you drink when you're nauseous.

Rachel

Monica: Joey, you know, maybe you're just not used to kissing men. Maybe you just tensed up a little bit. Maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Yeah, that makes sense.
(Joey looks over at Ross)
Ross: Over my dead body.
(Joey looks over at Chandler)
Chandler: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.

Chandler: She's married. She has a husband.
Phoebe: What if the husband person is the wrong guy and you are the right guy. You don't get chances like this all the time. If you don't meet her now, you're going to be kicking yourself when you're 80, which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.

Joey: Come on, Chandler. I want this part so much. Just one kiss. I won't tell anyone.
Chandler: Joey, no means no!

Chandler: Hey, how's the first day going?
Joey: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
Chandler: Well there you go.
Joey: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Chandler: Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?
Joey: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
Chandler: Weird world. Your kids?
Joey: I figure my character has kids.
Chandler: You know, there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
Joey: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Chandler: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
Joey: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... You know what? Just did.
Chandler: Wow, that's some pretty strong imaginary sperm you've got there.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 431 in total

Friends Season 2 Quotes

Joey: (About Chandler's third nipple) I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey: I don't know. You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

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