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Joey: Come on, Chandler. I want this part so much. Just one kiss. I won't tell anyone.
Chandler: Joey, no means no!
- Permalink: Come on, Chandler. I want this part so much. Just one kiss. I wo...
(About being forced to wear a bright pink, fluffy bridesmaid dress) I cannot believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 looking like something you drink when you're nauseous.Rachel
- Permalink: I cannot believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 l...
Chandler: She's married. She has a husband.
Phoebe: What if the husband person is the wrong guy and you are the right guy. You don't get chances like this all the time. If you don't meet her now, you're going to be kicking yourself when you're 80, which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.
- Permalink: She's married. She has a husband. What if the husband person i...
Chandler, you have got to stop staring at that door. It's like a watched pot. If you keep watching it, the door is never gonna boil.Phoebe
- Permalink: Chandler, you have got to stop staring at that door. It's like a...
Chandler: (Realizing his internet girl is Janice) Oh my God!
Janice: Oh... my... God! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Ross, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe: Oh... my... God!
- Permalink: Oh my God! Oh... my... God! Oh... my... God!
Monica: Joey, you know, maybe you're just not used to kissing men. Maybe you just tensed up a little bit. Maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Yeah, that makes sense.
(Joey looks over at Ross)
Ross: Over my dead body.
(Joey looks over at Chandler)
Chandler: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
- Permalink: Joey, you know, maybe you're just not used to kissing men. Maybe...
(Making a toast) I remember when Barry came back from his first date with Rachel... (To Barry) What? You hired the same band, I can't use the same speech?Joel
- Permalink: I remember when Barry came back from his first date with Rachel....
Monica: (About their future) Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
Richard: Like a hound?
Monica: Not a basset. A bassinet.
Richard: You really need the bassinet?
Monica: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog.
- Permalink: Do you see a little bassinet in the corner? Like a hound? No...
Rachel: Why the hell didn't you tell me!
Ross: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do? Stand up and shout "Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!"
Rachel: Yeah, better you than Barry's uncle. Oh, my God this is so humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the "Copacabana" in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh, my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
Rachel: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
- Permalink: Why the hell didn't you tell me! I'm sorry. What was I suppose...
Monica: I read an article the other day that said you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat it, it kills them.
Richard: So that's why you never see pigeons in sushi bars.
- Permalink: I read an article the other day that said you're not supposed to...
Phoebe: We're just trying to figure out if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Joey: Oh, well just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Chandler: How do you not fall down more?
- Permalink: We're just trying to figure out if Chandler's girlfriend is a gi...
Chandler: Okay, so I can't fire Joseph. But, uh, I can sleep with his wife.
Chandler: Yeah. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. You know what? I just did!
Joey: What are you trying to do to me, man?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't me! It was my character, Chandy! The rogue processor who seduces his co-workers' wives for sport, then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler! In fact, I have her panties in my desk drawer right now!
Joey: (Looking hurt) Really?!
Chandler: No, freak show! She's fictional!
- Permalink: Okay, so I can't fire Joseph. But, uh, I can sleep with his wife...