Monica: Okay, here's the thing.
Pete: The thing! Oh no, I hate the thing. What's the thing?

(To Ross and Rachel) Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!

Chandler

Ross: (About Rachel's makeup) Okay, there you go.
Rachel: (Looks in the mirror) Sure. Sure, I'll just sit next to the transsexual from purchasing.

Monica: (To Phoebe) Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Wait, clogs or claws?
Monica: Clogs.
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Claws?
Phoebe: No.

Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Rachel: What a bitch. I'm gonna kick his ass.

(To the chick) That's Yasmine Bleeth. She's a different kind of chick.

Chandler

Rachel: You can either go or help me.
Ross: Okay, I'll go.
Rachel: Okay, but before you go, can you help me?

Phoebe: Do you guys know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? No.

Rachel: Okay, you'd tell me the truth, right?
Ross: Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.

Chandler: (To Ross) How'd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well...
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Ross: I was kinda supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Ross, why didn't you tell me that?
Ross: Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Rachel: I cannot believe you.
Ross: What?
Rachel: That is the sweetest thing, I just... (they stare at each other)
Ross: (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
Rachel: Okay.

Ross: (Entering the apartment wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?
Rachel: Got a job on a river boat?
Ross: You know what? I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore, so...
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Ross: Right.
Rachel: Now that you're on you're own, you're free to look as stupid as you like.

Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!

Friends Quotes

(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?

Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
Phoebe: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: Games and stuff.