Phoebe: I have to tell you something?
Monica: What?
Phoebe: I can't tell you.
Monica: Well, wouldn't it be easier if you could tell me?
Phoebe: Yeah, in a perfect world.

Monica: Okay, here's the thing.
Pete: The thing! Oh no, I hate the thing. What's the thing?

(To Ross and Rachel) Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!

Chandler

This has been my dream ever since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened "Easy Monica's Bakery."

Monica

Monica: (To Phoebe) Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Wait, clogs or claws?
Monica: Clogs.
Phoebe: No.
Monica: Claws?
Phoebe: No.

Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Rachel: What a bitch. I'm gonna kick his ass.

Rachel: You can either go or help me.
Ross: Okay, I'll go.
Rachel: Okay, but before you go, can you help me?

Phoebe: Do you guys know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? No.

Ross: I'm gonna be on TV!
Chandler: No way!
Ross: Yeah. They're putting together a panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and the Discovery Channel's gonna film it.
Chandler: Oh, my God! Who's gonna watch that?

Chandler: So, um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen?
Phoebe: Um, about three months.
Chandler: Okay, so I guess that's about two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.

Ross: (Entering the apartment wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?
Rachel: Got a job on a river boat?
Ross: You know what? I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore, so...
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Ross: Right.
Rachel: Now that you're on you're own, you're free to look as stupid as you like.

Rachel: Okay, you'd tell me the truth, right?
Ross: Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!