Rachel: What, Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Ya know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Ya know? Ya know, this kind of like, ya know, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads?

Ross: (About his thing) The worst thing is he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Chandler: Ya know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off.

(To Monica) This is Pete we're talking about, he's not like other people. On your first date, he took you to Rome! For most guys, that's like a second or third date kind of thing.

Chandler

Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick.

Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or... ha, ha! We could go over there and pee on them!

Director: (Reading a review of the play) "Joey Tribbiani gave an uneven performance as the lead, Victor. However Mr. Tribbiani was not the worst part of this production."
Joey: Yes!!!

Ross (Rachel just introduced him to Tommy)) So uh, well, this, this is uh, this is awkward.
Tommy Yeah?
Ross Well y'know 'cause Rachel and I used to go out.
Tommy Oh, I didn't, I didn't know that.
Ross Oh! Well then this is awkward.

Joey: Oh, hey! You guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate! (To Chandler) And I borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? It's never gonna happen. She's seeing somebody.
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't have any cologne.
Joey: Green bottle next to the shaving cream.
Chandler: Oh, worm medicine for the duck.

Joey: (After the critics trash Kate's performance) Drama critics are just people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Kate: Become a drama critic.

Ross: He screamed, he literally screamed at this couple.
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he got up and just started to bang his hands together.

Ross: I'm telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viciously screamed at total strangers! I think he's bad news!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you don't like the guy Rachel's dating? Well, (Sarcastically) that's odd.

Joey: I don't get you, Kate. First you hate me, then you sleep with me, then you want nothing to do with me, and now you want me again?
Kate: What, you've never dated an actress before?

Friends Quotes

Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.