Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.
All: What?!
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Rachel: And?
Monica: Well, that's it. People never say "We need to talk" unless it's something bad.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.

Ross: Listen, I need a favor. Um, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I, ah, I, well I felt something.
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?

Ross: Monica is right, marriage is a very serious thing, you shouldn't just rush into it!
Rachel: Oh what do you know, you married a lesbian!

Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! It's the most intense physical competition in the world, it's banned in 49 states!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, I've even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Monica: My parents will be so happy.

Phoebe: I'm telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it, Pheebs. I don't want to make it savory.
Monica: You know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Phoebe: Gimme this. (Ross grabs the herbalist's card from Phoebe's hands and leaves.)

(To Tommy) Step away from the duck.

Chandler

Chandler: (Entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theater?
Monica: Of course not.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.

Joey: Oh, hey! You guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate! (To Chandler) And I borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? It's never gonna happen. She's seeing somebody.
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't have any cologne.
Joey: Green bottle next to the shaving cream.
Chandler: Oh, worm medicine for the duck.

I've kept myself busy. (Monica and Rachel go in their rooms and walk right back out) I put your stuff in her room and her stuff in your room.

Phoebe

Joey: I don't get you, Kate. First you hate me, then you sleep with me, then you want nothing to do with me, and now you want me again?
Kate: What, you've never dated an actress before?

Director: (Reading a review of the play) "Joey Tribbiani gave an uneven performance as the lead, Victor. However Mr. Tribbiani was not the worst part of this production."
Joey: Yes!!!

Joey: (After the critics trash Kate's performance) Drama critics are just people who couldn't make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Kate: Become a drama critic.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Joey: (About Chandler's third nipple) I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
Joey: I don't know. You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.

Chandler: Take off their hats!
Phoebe: Popes into a Volkswagen! (Chandler nods) Oh, I love that joke!

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