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Next I'm going to show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.


Rachel: Ah that's funny! You're a funny guy Chandler! And you know what else is really funny?
Chandler: (Hesitantly) Something else I might have said?

Rachel: Well, ya know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the "tray spot."
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm sorry.

Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.

Gunther: Rachel, remind me to review with you which pot is regular and which pot is decaf.
Rachel: Can't I just look at the handles?
Gunther: You would think.

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know, I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around tenish?

Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. (Hands the cup to Chandler) Enjoy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.

Well, wait a minute though. How are we going to get there, because my mom won't let me cross the street?


Monica: Losers walk.
Ross: Yeah? Losers talk.
Chandler: No, no, no. Actually, losers rhyme.

Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so, um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, I'm your best friend.
Ross: Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler.
Rachel: Ross!
Monica: Phoebe.
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Rachel: You don't pick me! You're stuck with me!

(In a sing-song voice) 42 to 21, like the turkey, Ross is done!


Joey: Prepare to feel very bad about yourself.
Chandler: Hey, well, I've been prepared for that my entire life. Or something about you that's mean.

Displaying quotes 217 - 228 of 1265 in total

Friends Quotes

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Ross: Rach, you know, I can see you naked anytime I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (Ross closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!
Rachel: Ross, stop that!
Ross: I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that anymore.
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (Ross closes his eyes again) Oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It will never happen-- (Closes eyes again) Uh oh. Wait a minute! Wait, wait. Now there are a hundred of you, and I'm the king!

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