Next I'm going to show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.


Rachel: Ah that's funny! You're a funny guy Chandler! And you know what else is really funny?
Chandler: (Hesitantly) Something else I might have said?

Rachel: Well, ya know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the "tray spot."
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm sorry.

Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.

Gunther: Rachel, remind me to review with you which pot is regular and which pot is decaf.
Rachel: Can't I just look at the handles?
Gunther: You would think.

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know, I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around tenish?

Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. (Hands the cup to Chandler) Enjoy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.

Well, wait a minute though. How are we going to get there, because my mom won't let me cross the street?


Monica: Losers walk.
Ross: Yeah? Losers talk.
Chandler: No, no, no. Actually, losers rhyme.

Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so, um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, I'm your best friend.
Ross: Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler.
Rachel: Ross!
Monica: Phoebe.
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Rachel: You don't pick me! You're stuck with me!

(In a sing-song voice) 42 to 21, like the turkey, Ross is done!


Joey: Prepare to feel very bad about yourself.
Chandler: Hey, well, I've been prepared for that my entire life. Or something about you that's mean.

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.