Ross: I thought our relationship was dead!
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
- Permalink: I thought our relationship was dead! Well, you sure had a hell...
No. I can't. You're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me. Ever. God, and now I can't stop picturing you with her. I can't. It doesn't matter what you say or what you do, Ross. It's just changed everything. Forever.Rachel
- Permalink: No. I can't. You're a totally different person to me now. I used...
Ross: Gunther! Please tell me you didn't tell Rachel about me and the girl from the copy center.
Gunther: I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to?
- Permalink: Gunther! Please tell me you didn't tell Rachel about me and the ...
Phoebe: Ooh! We can eat the wax! It's organic!
Chandler: Oh boy, food with hair on it.
Phoebe: Well, not the used wax!
Chandler: Because that would be crazy?
- Permalink: Ooh! We can eat the wax! It's organic! Oh boy, food with hair ...
(Monica pulls off one of the waxing strips and yells in pain)
Phoebe: Was it not "pain-free"?
Monica: No, it was pain-ful! Oh, my God, they should call it "Pain-zine, now with a little wax."
- Permalink: Was it not pain-free? No, it was pain-ful! Oh, my God, they sh...
Phoebe: They're gonna get through this, aren't they?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, it's Ross and Rachel, they've got too.
Monica: What if they don't?
- Permalink: They're gonna get through this, aren't they? Yeah, come on, it...
Ross: Don't you realize none of this would've ever happened if I didn't think at that same moment you were having sex with Mark?
Rachel: All right. Let's say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Ross: Yes, I would.
Rachel: You'd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Ross: (Hesitating) Yes.
Rachel: If you knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were...
Ross: (He covers his ears and yells) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because it's, I mean it's you.
- Permalink: Don't you realize none of this would've ever happened if I didn'...
Ross: (About telling Rachel that he slept with another woman) What is she gonna say when I tell her what I did?
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Ross: What?! Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right? How am I supposed to do that without being totally honest with each other?
Joey: Look, Ross, look, I'm on board about this totally honesty thing. I am just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble.
Chandler: He's right. Nobody's gonna benefit, and you're just gonna hurt her.
Joey: Yeah, and there won't be a relationship left to rebuild.
Ross: Yeah, but don't you think...
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
- Permalink: What is she gonna say when I tell her what I did? Well, before...
Ross: (About sleeping with Chloe) Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
Isaac: Aw, no problem dude. You know we got to look out for each other. We're the same, you and me.
Ross: Actually, no, we're not.
Isaac: Yeah, we are.
Ross: No, we're not.
Isaac: Yeah, we are.
Ross: No, we're not!
Isaac: Okay, we're not.
Isaac: But, we are.
Ross: Fine. I just need to know that you're not gonna tell your sister.
Isaac: I can promise not to tell her again.
- Permalink: Listen, can you keep this information to yourself? Aw, no prob...
Monica: Hey. It's three in the morning. They don't know that I've come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know, people can be so self-involved.
- Permalink: Hey. It's three in the morning. They don't know that I've come h...
Phoebe: (Barging into the apartment) I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Monica: Why, do you have a report due?
- Permalink: I need an atlas! I need an atlas! Why, do you have a report d...
Chandler: I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
Ross: Yeah, there's been a little change of plans. We're breaking up instead.
- Permalink: I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner. Yeah, there...
Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!
- Permalink: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me. What? No way, I've be...
- Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.
- Permalink: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent? Probably...
- Rating: 4.2 / 5.0