Phoebe: There is no smoking in my grandmother's cab.
Chandler: In that case, I have to go to the bathroom.
You know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.Chandler
Phoebe: (About waxing) This happens to be a pain no man will ever experience.
Chandler: I don't think you can make that statement until you've been kicked in an area God only meant to be treated nicely.
Phoebe: (On the phone) Hi, it's Phoebe. Someone needs to take my 9:00, because it's like, 9:15, and I'm not there.
Phoebe: Ooh! We can eat the wax! It's organic!
Chandler: Oh boy, food with hair on it.
Phoebe: Well, not the used wax!
Chandler: Because that would be crazy?
Ross: I thought our relationship was dead!
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
Ross: Gunther! Please tell me you didn't tell Rachel about me and the girl from the copy center.
Gunther: I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to?
Monica: You broke up?
Rachel: Yeah, but it's okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Monica: Oh no! Rachel! You and Mark?
Rachel: No, no, no. It's okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realized how much I love your stupid brother. And yeah, we got our problems, but I really wanna make it work.
Ross: I made a mistake, okay?
Rachel: A mistake? What were you trying to put it in, her purse?
Phoebe: (About Ross and Rachel) They've been quiet for a long time.
Joey: Maybe she killed him.
Phoebe: (As Rachel hits Ross) Should we do something?
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Phoebe: Why are you mopping your ceiling?
Monica: There's banana on it.
Phoebe: Oh. I have the spirit of an old Indian woman living in mine.