Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Joey: Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (Starts to light another cigarette)
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well it's very unsettling.

Phoebe: There is no smoking in my grandmother's cab.
Chandler: In that case, I have to go to the bathroom.

Ross: Forget it, no one's staying.
Chandler: Okay, then I might as well offer to stay.

Rachel: Oh my god! Chandler, you're smoking again.
Chandler: Shut up, you're not my real mom!

Phoebe: I had a dream last night that Rachel and Ross were still together and we were all here hanging out.
Joey: I had the same dream.
Phoebe: Yeah, and no one slept with the Xerox girl.
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.

Joey: (To Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Monica: Why? Do you think he's still mad at us?
Chandler: (To Joey) Well, he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: What? Mine aren't tinted.

Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game.
Chandler: We are. He's meeting us here.
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Joey: Yeah, you should have been there last night.
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Joey: Well Ross was hanging out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturizer from Chandler...
Chandler: Yeah you, how hard is it to say "something?" Rachel came over to borrow "something."

Joey: Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here.
Phoebe: Really? Mine get me out of tickets!

Joey: You're smoking again?!
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still.

Phoebe: What town are we near?
Monica: Freemont! Westmont! Westburgh!
Phoebe: Okay, why are you answering?

Joey: (Trying to unlock the car) Relax okay? I, I, I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Chandler: Oh, I do! Uh, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Monica: So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 1265 in total

Want more Friends?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Friends Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Chandler: Take off their hats!
Phoebe: Popes into a Volkswagen! (Chandler nods) Oh, I love that joke!

x Close Ad